Other Stuff
Dont know how true this is, but its a good read....
(The late) John Pernicky and
his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the
great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at
the George Washington amphitheater. Having no tickets (but having had 18
beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine
foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to
the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than
Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately
for (the late) Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of
the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a
tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a
large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a
broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring
the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded
to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr.
Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE
body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch
penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife
penetrated his thigh. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and
agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to
the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he
put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his
friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its
driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive
internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it
half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in
his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.
Congratulations gentlemen. You win. And some more idiots have been removed
from the gene pool.